


Running Up That Hill

by wildcat_88



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Ben Solo is a Mess, Ben Solo is a dad, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, F/M, Hand Jobs, He's also a brooding giant, Rey is feisty, Size Kink, Smoking, The Author Regrets Nothing, Voice Kink, blue collar worker, she really needs this job if you know what I mean, the babysitting AU no one asked for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-11-16 01:41:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18084983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildcat_88/pseuds/wildcat_88
Summary: She needed a job.She saw the ad and thought nothing of it.A babysitter to one Ben Solo.She just wasn't expecting Ben Solo to look like he did.It was supposed to be easy and in an instance that all changed.





	1. Take This Lonely Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just say I'm so grateful to all the people that read my silly stories. It means so much to me!
> 
> So, as for my other current stories. I, of course, am actively writing 'Under The Water'. I have decided to turn 'Darkness Follows Him' into a series, so be on a lookout for the next part in the series! Corner of your Heart is on hiatus until my brain decides to figure it out. 
> 
> I had to write this story. I regret nothing! 
> 
> Thanks once again <3
> 
> Much love <3

 

**_I've got a message that you can't ignore_ **  
**_Maybe I'm just not the man I was before_ **  
**_Take this from me, take this lonely heart_ **  
**_'Cause I, 'cause I don't need it no more_ **  
**_I've got a hunger you will never taste_ **  
**_Craving a desire that won't go to waste_ **  
**_Take this from me, take this lonely heart_ **  
**_And I, I'm gonna make it my own_ **

 

She needed a job.

Any job at this point so she could get away from having to spend every waking moment with her Uncle Plutt. A vile man that had never wanted to take care of a child and received the shock of his life when he found out her mom had put him as her guardian in the event she passed away.

Her mom had no other siblings or even a friend that wasn't too busy with their own lives to take in the only child she had. Reluctantly she had scribbled down her brother's name truly believing she would be alive to see Rey turn eighteen and her daughter wouldn't have to spend a single minute with her brother.

It turns out that life can be a cruel mistress. Rey watched the sickness take her mom until one day she floated away never to return.

She first met Unkar Plutt when she was thirteen years old at her mom's funeral. The man's stomach protruded from underneath his washed-out button-up, a small layer of hair sat atop his head but Rey could see the balding spots. What disturbed her most was his skin that made him look sickly with what appeared as festering wounds on his face and neck.  She shivered at the thought of having to live with this man.

He didn't cry, not like Rey, and she was quick to discover that Plutt hated weakness especially if that involved crying. The man didn't know how to cook so Rey lived off of salami sandwiches and TV dinners for most of her teenage years.

With looking like a twig she was prone to bullying. Both girls and boys made fun of her flat chest, boyish body, and freckled skin. Plutt didn't help her feel better about herself and if she did complain about what kids said he would agree with them.

Plutt couldn't be bothered. He never involved himself in taking care of her choosing to love the bottle more than he could ever love her. It isn't like she wanted his affection but desperation for anything began to take its toll on her and she almost found herself begging him to give a fuck.

At eighteen she had graduated high school and landed a scholarship for higher education. It would be a lot of pressure on her shoulders to succeed because any non-passing grade would get the scholarship revoked. That was something she could not afford at this point in life. Not when she was so close to getting out from underneath Plutt's grasp.

She couldn't afford to live at the dorms so she would have to continue to live with Plutt until she finished. A job would at least allow her to get away from Plutt all hours of the day.

She has been searching for hours truly ready to give up on this silly job search until she sees an ad for a babysitter. Clicking on the link she is brought to a description of what the person is looking for.

The wording is clipped, very to the point, and she finds herself admiring the simplicity after reading so many descriptions that had her mind boggled.

_I'm looking for a babysitter for my five-year-old daughter. I have a new job so I won't be around to pick her up from school._

_I will need someone from noon when she gets out of school till 6 when I get off work._

_Must have a car and proof of insurance._

_Eighteen or older._

_Contact me through email if interested._

_bensolo_1@gmail.com_

 

Rey did have a car. It was a rundown piece of shit but it would still manage to get her to and from said school and his house.

Without hesitating, she types up a quick email to Mr. Solo and sends it. She doesn't know why she's anxious to see if he'll respond but as the time ticks on with no response, she feels like an idiot for thinking he would even look twice at her email.

The ping of her phone has her grabbing the small device to see a notification from her email. Her heart thundering in her chest she opens up the email from one Ben Solo and sees an address with a time.

Be there on time.

The words involuntarily make her shiver and now she's worried that Mr. Solo is going to turn out to be some mass murderer with no daughter at all. Pushing the fear down she sends another email to him that she'll be there and sends a text to her best friend Finn with the information.

Her phone rings a moment later. "Hello?"

"What the hell is going on, Rey? Are you okay?" The worry coating his voice has her smiling.

She could always count on Finn to be the over-thinker of every situation. "I'm fine. It's just an interview but I want you to know where I am just in case."

He breathes out a sigh of relief. "How dare you make me worry like that, peanut."

"You worry too much about me, Finn."

"Can you blame me?"

Finn knew all too well the situation that Rey was in. He had jetted off to California to fulfill his dream of being a doctor. Rey couldn't be happier for him but she still longed for the close friendship they always had.

It had been him and her against the world for so long, now, it seemed like they only became more distant as time ventured on. Rey wouldn't give up hope though. In her heart, she knew the two of them would always be friends no matter the circumstance.

"I'll be okay. Once I have a job I can save up and get the hell out of here."

"You deserve so much more. I feel like an asshole for just abandoning you."

She shakes her head letting out a tiny scoff.  "You have to live your dream and I'm not going to be the one to hold you back."

"Just don't give up, okay?"

"You know I never will."

"I have to go…a lot of summer homework to catch up on."

"I understand. It was good hearing your voice."

"Same. Night, Rey."

"Night, Finn."

She hangs up the phone and lays down turning onto her side.

She falls asleep wondering what Mr. Solo will be like.

~♥~

She pulls up to the quaint house surrounded by a white picket fence and she is surprised- as she walks up the stone pathway- to see lilies blooming along the front of the house in neat little beds.

The house was painted a cream color with blue shutters with a porch that leads her up to the door. It was almost a smaller version of the house out of ‘The Notebook' and she had to wonder if this man picked this house because he liked it or a special someone did.

Knocking on the door, she waits patiently taking the time to smooth her pleated skirt down and ensure her blouse is securely tucked into it. She can only hope what she is wearing is appropriate due to the fact she had never had an interview before.

The door opens a moment later and the smile she plastered on her face falters instantly. She doesn't know what she had been expecting, perhaps an older man with graying hair, and a kind smile.

He was older all right but there wasn't a single gray hair on his head nor a kind smile. His face was pulled into a stern expression, dark brows pulled down in a way that made it look like he wore a permanent scowl.

He filled the entire doorway before her, she instinctively took a step back from this larger-than-life man. She couldn't stop herself from taking in just how burly he is with a body that was built for sin.

The words on the tip of her tongue became garbled and she remains speechless begging herself to stop acting like an idiot.

"Are you Rey?" He asks breaking the uncomfortable silence that has forged between them. His voice is deep, a husky sound that shoots straight to her core, and she finds herself shifting to ease the ache he built in her.

"Yes," she replies gathering her bearings and doing her best to ignore the sweat that has begun to skate down her spine. "Rey Johnson."

His dark eyes do a once over of her and her face flares at his blatant perusal. "You're eighteen?"

It takes a lot to push down the comment she wants to make but she does and smiles instead. "Yes, I assure you I have a car," she points at it, "Also I brought proof of insurance."

"Look young is all."

"I'll take that as a compliment, sir or do you prefer Mr. Solo?"

He rakes a hand through his ebony hair and gives her a look she can't quite define. She's still trying to get over his broad shoulders that are revealed to her hungry eyes. The white undershirt hugs his body brilliantly and leaves nothing to the imagination.

He is all raw, unyielding muscle and sinew.

Built like a wild animal.

A wild animal that could snap her neck in half if he so wished it.

"You can call me Ben." He steps aside and ushers her into his home. She takes the hint and steps through the threshold not truly knowing if this is the worst mistake she is about to make or the best.

The house smells clean, like pinewood. There is no clutter, a simple couch in the living room with a normal sized television. A few toys are strewn about but they don't take away from just how neat and orderly the house is.

He gestures towards the couch and she sits making sure she's not giving him an eyeful as she does.

He's an older man, he probably wouldn't want to see that anyways.

 She scolds herself for even thinking he would care to see an eighteen-year-old girl like herself naked especially when she still didn't have an abundance of curves. Chest still too small and her body still a little too lean.

He has to be in his mid-thirties even though there is no sign of wrinkles marring his face.

He sits in an armchair that seems thoroughly worn out and loved by the giant of a man. His legs part drawing her attention to his denim-clad thighs. This man is so well-proportioned that she can't help ogle him like he is some outfit displayed at the mall that she knows she can't have.

"Do you have experience in babysitting?" He asks, his gravelly voice doing way too many things to her at once.

"If I'm being honest, no, but I'm good with kids and I know how to cook so I won't be burning the house down anytime soon."

He doesn't even crack a smile at her playfulness. She bites down on her lower lip and she swears she sees him track the movement.

"You can cook?"

She nods a little too enthusiastically. "Yes, I had to teach myself or else I'd still be eating TV dinners."

Shoving a chestnut lock behind her ear, she shifts nervously at revealing a little too much about her personal life. "TV dinners?"

"My Uncle has never been much of a cook."

He ponders the answer but doesn't push the matter. She is more than grateful for that. "So, you can cook. Anything else?"

"I have volunteered at a daycare before and I am CPR/first aid trained. I may not look like it but I can care for a child."

"Every person that has waltzed through my door has said the same thing but half of them seemed like they were going to be a drill sergeant to my little girl and the rest," he clenches his hands on the armrests, "Well, I didn't think much of them. You're young and the only eighteen-year-old that responded to the ad but I wasn't thinking when I wrote that age. Maybe you could care for her. I just think you're too young."

He stood up and Rey was before him in a heartbeat trying to stop him from going anywhere. His eyes went a little wide at her actions and she couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. "Please, I know I look young but I promise I'll do everything in my power to ensure your daughter's happiness and safety. I've been forced to grow up fast due to an absentee guardian. I know how to be responsible and I'm telling you if you just give me a chance that I won't disappoint you."

She knows she is standing too close to him, she can see the way his pulse thuds in his neck, and how his jaw clenches for a reason she can't be completely sure of. Her eyes latch onto the beauty marks that dot his pale skin, skin that she wouldn't mind rubbing up against.

His eyes narrow. "You must really need the money, huh?"

She shakes her head vehemently. "No, it's not like that at all. I just don't want to be stuck at my Uncle's house all the time."

"So you want to use my daughter to get away from home?"

"Your daughter needs a babysitter and I'm guessing you need one relatively soon. You do have to provide for her, don't you? That means you can't keep taking all this time off work just because you think no one is worthy enough of caring for her."

His nostrils flare-entire demeanor is more dangerous than it had already been-dark eyes ablaze with an emotion she could only classify as pure annoyance and a little bit of rage. His broad chest puffs up and down until finally, he releases a low growl that sends a surge down her spine.

"Fine. You're hired. One rule though," he says in a low voice, "No fucking more of this attitude out of you, okay?"

Her heart beats unsteadily and she forces herself to nod.

"I'll be in touch."

"Okay," she stammers and doesn't waste time leaving his house.

She had not been prepared for Ben Solo.

She may never be.

~♥~


	2. Made of Stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your comments make me feel amazing! Like I can do anything and that means a lot to me <3
> 
> Spreading positivity is beautiful! 
> 
> Much love <3

 

 

_**I think I'm made of stone** _  
_**I think we are all** _  
_**Built out of memory** _  
_**Built out of scenes** _  
_**Structures of whispers** _  
_**Pass through our veins** _  
_**Laid out on screens** _  
_**Show our tiny heads** _  
_**''You'll find love kid, it exists''** _

"A babysitter?" Unkar grumbles, changing the channel for the hundredth time since Rey walked in to tell him about her new job.

"Yes, I thought it would be a good idea to start making some money of my own."

Unkar scoffs tossing the remote down in favor of grabbing his beer. He takes a messy swallow, beer seeping down his chin in a way that made Rey want to throw up. The man would die alone and it was obvious why.

"I'll be going to school. I thought it would be best to learn some responsibility," she continues.

"You do whatever the fuck you want, Rey. You're eighteen now right? Technically I no longer have to give a shit about you."

"When have you ever given a shit about me?" Rey fires back, the rage seeping under her skin desperate to breach the surface.

"Don't be an ungrateful bitch. I could have left you at some orphanage to defend yourself. Perhaps you wouldn't have that scholarship if it weren't for me keeping you safe."

"I worked my ass off for that scholarship! Don't you dare act like you had anything to do with that!"

Unkar is on his feet before Rey can even process it, the sting across her cheek is a shock to her system, and without another word, she races to her room locking it behind her. He had never laid hands on her once in the six something years he had been raising her for.

Fear replaces rage. Even when she used to stand up to him, he would tell her to fuck off and drink until he passed out on the couch. Now, if she even tried to open her mouth to ensure the bastard took no credit for her hard work, she wasn't completely sure what he would do.

Plopping down on her bed, she cradles her cheek that stings only slightly now. It wouldn't leave a mark. The next one might if she isn't careful. The rage comes right back at him daring to tell her he ever gave a shit about her. Not once had he kept her safe from the dangers of this world. Most nights she went to bed hungry, the only meal she ate was the free school lunches they had to offer to families with limited means of income.

She had to do everything alone. The trials of being a teenage girl had taken a toll on her and by the time she hit eighteen all she felt was the sharp knife of loneliness. With Finn gone that only increased ten-fold. She had worked hard in school, no one would take credit of that. Even in those moments of pure despair, she had persevered and school had been the one thing to take her mind off of everything she was dealing with.

The sound of her phone pinging with an email startles her out of her racing thoughts. Checking the message, her heart increases in speed ever-so-slightly with who it is from. Dark eyes flash in her mind, pale skin layered with hard muscle, and full lips made for kissing. Snapping out of her trail of thought she reads what it entails.

_I want you to meet my daughter. Tomorrow._

_Noon if that works for you._

_Ben_

The man truly _is_ one of few words.

She's still trying to wrap her head around the fact she landed the job with him. She was sure he was going to kick her out the door and tell her never to come back. He simply told her to cut the attitude. In that moment-if she's being honest-all she could focus on was how growly his voice had become and the way it made her want to fall to her knees before him.

She had kissed a few guys. Even got to some heavy petting with one but they had been fleeting moments that never went further than that. She was never ready for that final stage until she laid eyes on Ben Solo. All the times she had told Finn that being abstinent was easy all flew out the window. She ached just thinking about what Ben could do to her. He was no boy. He was a man that held promise.

That would never happen though. It was silly to think a man that looked like Ben would ever want a scrawny girl like herself. She was sure he could easily get a model on each arm if he desired it.

She groaned and rolled onto her side holding a pillow close to her chest. Now she wanted to know everything Ben desired.

Sending a quick reply to Ben she got ready for bed and turned off the light getting under the warm covers.

"Dangerous thoughts," she murmured to herself before drifting off to sleep.

~♥~

Today she decided on something a little more casual to meet his daughter in. She wore her hair in a high ponytail to keep it out of her face just in case she ended up playing. Her ensemble consisting of a blouse, her favorite jean jacket, black leggings, and converse to finish off the outfit.

Nerves wracked her body, raising her trembling fist to knock on the white painted door. She hears his heavy footfalls doing her best to school her features so she doesn't appear fazed by him. The door opens and even though she had done everything to prepare her for this moment, she still finds herself caught off guard by his presence.

He is a mammoth of a man, the form-fitting cotton shirt hugging the expanse of his chest highlighting every inch of muscle he has. Jeans wrap around thighs that she is desperate to latch onto while doing something entirely too raunchy to be thinking about when she notes the tiny girl in his arms eyeing her curiously.

 Rey notes that the little girl has golden hair and big green eyes like a meadow nothing like her dad's amber eyes. They have similar facial structures but where his angles are hard hers are soft. They are obviously related, yet, the mother's features stand out more prominently.

The girl becomes shy under Rey's perusal and tucks her face into Ben's neck. Rey almost collapses at how cute they look together. This big brooding man with a little girl that becomes dwarfed in his burly arms. It's the cutest thing she's seen in ages.

"Come in," Ben speaks once again breaking the awkward silence that had settled between them.

Rey nods and follows him inside. The door shuts with a soft click and they wind up in the living room. Him taking his armchair and Rey sitting on the couch shifting uncomfortably under his dark gaze.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice."

"I'm glad you arranged this meeting. I couldn't wait to meet her. However, you never told me her name."

"Mila."

"That's a very pretty name."

Rey saw Mila perk up at her name being called pretty. She was already on the right track of helping Mila become comfortable with having her around.

"Her mom named her."

"Well, she picked wisely."

"Yeah," he mutters, running a large palm over the back of Mila's head. Rey can see how tender the movement is.

"So, you work Monday through Friday?"

"Yes, is that a problem?" She doesn't miss the irritation in his voice, instead of playing into it she simply smiles and shakes her head.

"No, that's perfectly fine."

"I'll pay you fifteen an hour. That enough?"

She almost blanches at the price. Fifteen an hour five days a week for six hours was more than enough. She almost feels bad nodding her head in confirmation but she figures arguing with him in front of his daughter isn't appropriate.

"She's a bit shy."

"I'm not shy, daddy," Mila squeaks batting his chest.

She's finally sat up straight, scowling at her dad, and now she realizes just how much Mila does look like Ben.

Ben chuckles pressing a swift kiss to her rosy cheeks and she giggles pushing at him. "Then say hi to our guest if you're not so shy," he teases.

Rey doesn't know what to do about this side of Ben. He's too sexy when he smiles. Rey wishes she could take a picture of the moment but settles with taking a mental image of it instead.

Mila turns to look at Rey and a wide smile forms on her face. "I'm Mila. What's your name?"

Straight to the heartstrings. She declares in her head and is unable to hide her smile as she replies, "Rey."

"You have a pretty name," Mila says bashfully.

"I think yours is pretty too."

"Can we be friends?"

Rey is unable to stop that laugh that escapes her. "I would love nothing more than to be your friend, Mila."

Mila squeals in delight. Ben cringes slightly due to the fact the high pitched noise was right in his ear. Yet, he doesn't seem mad at all, a small smile continues to grace his features.

 Mila scrambles off of her dad's lap and before Rey knows it she spends the next two hours playing with stuffed animals with whole character arcs behind them. Rey can't get enough of Mila's storytelling, it surprises her that this little girl is only five years old. The stories she creates from scratch are detailed and hold an emotion behind them that not even most adults can emote.

Mila has no quarrel in telling Rey all about herself. By the end of her speech and before she dives back into her storytelling; Rey learns so many facts about Mila that it's hard to keep up but the ones that make Rey smile are- Mila loves swimming, eating all types of fruits, loves arts and crafts, would do anything to help an injured animal, and absolutely loves her daddy with her whole heart.

Rey has never seen such purity and it makes her want to cry at just how intelligent and wise this girl truly is. The empathy she has is something Rey is not accustomed to. To be loved by Mila must be something truly rewarding. No wonder Ben smiles the way he does around Mila. She is the definition of what good entails. It would be difficult to be a big grump around her.

Eventually, Ben tells Mila to get ready for dinner. Rey isn't expecting the girl to hug her and catches herself before toppling over when Mila jumps at her wrapping her arms around her neck.

"Bye-bye, Rey."

Rey holds her close. "I'll see you soon."

With one last wave, Mila races out of the room. Once she's out of the picture all the tension rushes back in. It is almost suffocating and Rey struggles to breathe properly. She doesn't understand the intensity of his gaze on her and she laughs nervously trying to break the energy that had surrounded them.

"You're good with her." He simply says after what feels like a decade of silence.

"I told you I'm good with kids," she replies with a roll of her eyes. When she meets his gaze again she goes rigid seeing the way his lips are pulled tight, brows in that scowl. All the warmth he once had left with his daughter.

"Must be easy when you are a kid yourself."

Rey openly glares at him, heat spans the length of her body tinting her golden skin in a pink hue. "I'm not a kid. I'm an adult."

She hates the condescending look he pins with her, it makes her feel small, and she's sure that's what his intentions are. After all the bullying and being treated like shit for most of her life she is not going to stand down to this man. She refuses to be weak anymore.

"I may not look like I'm eighteen but I am Mr. Solo," she snaps not missing the way his jaw clenches when she calls him that. "If that's a problem then I don't know what to tell you. I'm good with your daughter. I promise I'm not an idiot. I can handle responsibility if you _must_ know."

"I thought I fucking told you to watch your attitude," he growls taking a step closer to her.

She huffs out a frustrated breath, placing her hands on her hips angrily. "What do you expect to get when you talk down to me? I'm not your daughter, Mr. Solo so don't act like you're my father. I'm here to care for her and if you and I get along," she shrugs her shoulders, "Well, I don't really give a fuck if we get along or not."

"You've got quite the mouth on you, kid." He's so tall and especially at this moment he appears even taller. The way his eyes are pitch black makes her involuntarily shiver and she swears her skin is throbbing due to how much her adrenaline is racing.

"Maybe if you didn't push so damn much then I wouldn't have reason to give you lip."

He jerked his gaze away as if burnt and she watched as his jaw set stubbornly. "I go back to work this Monday. I'll send you the directions to Mila's school. Don't be fucking late," he grumbled. "Now get the hell out of my house."

"Gladly."

Not wasting any time she scurried to her car, burning with a feeling she hadn't felt. Gripping her steering wheel she felt the need to release a scream, instead, she pushed it way down letting it bubble until it dissipated.

_What the hell is going on?_

Her stomach burned, her skin felt aflame, and the slickness between her thighs was something she couldn't ignore. _Was this what true lust felt like? True need?_ Not even with any of her past flings had this feeling erupted in her. Now, with standing up to him and seeing his dark eyes upon her she felt like she was going to die if she didn't alleviate this sensation that has built inside her.

She couldn't quite wrap her brain around how she could want and hate a man so much. It didn't make sense, these dueling feelings, and she wasn't sure what to do anymore. She would care for his kid and leave right when he arrived home.

She didn't have to stay longer than that.

This would work.

Or so she hoped it would.

~♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO


	3. I Wish You Lonely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reception I have received on this story means a lot!!!
> 
> All of your comments are so amazing!! Thank you!!
> 
> Much love <3
> 
> Trigger Warning: This chapter will have some depictions of physical abuse! Please be wary of that!

 

**_I wish you lonely_ **  
**_If only for one day_ **  
**_So that you might see routine for me_ **  
**_Since the day I was born, born_ **  
**_Think of yourself only_ **  
**_Of everything you demand_ **  
**_You want and you need_ **  
**_And to hell_ **  
**_To hell with everybody else, everybody else_ **

 

"Daddy doesn't like you," Mila says the moment she's buckled into her car seat and Rey is just about to slide her key into the ignition.

Rey stops and turns to face Mila who sits adorably in the back, her blonde hair in two neat pigtails with a bow to tie them off. The knowledge that Ben did that for her irks Rey. He can be so gentle and yet with her, he's the asshole of the century. She wonders if he is like that in general and if so, what stick was shoved up his ass so far that he takes his anger out on everybody but the person he truly despises.

Rey forces a strained smile upon her face. "Is that so, sweetheart?"

Mila fumbles with her thumbs and gives a shy nod. "He's always grumpy with people but with you, he's super grumpy." Mila prolongs ‘super' and Rey can't help but laugh feeling some of the tension leave her body at how darling this girl truly is.

Rey couldn't blame Mila for her observation. Rey had been babysitting her for an entire month and Ben still hadn't warmed up to her. He came home from work- always in clean clothes not a sign of sweat or grime on his pale skin-and walked right past her like she were no more than a ghost. He always went straight for Mila and held her in his arms asking her how her day was. It was obviously the cutest shit ever but it still pissed Rey off that he didn't even take the time to acknowledge her.

She would gather her stuff together silently and say a weak goodbye to him. He always responded with a flick of his head and a permanent scowl adorning his features. Mila, on the other hand, would sprint over to her and demand a hug goodbye. It always broke down the walls that Ben built with his cold demeanor. Mila could warm even the iciest of hearts.

"Your dad hardly talks to me. How do you know he doesn't like me?"

She huffs out a breath. "That's how I know. Daddy always talks to people even when he doesn't want to. He never talks to you and that means he must not like you right?"

Rey can't get over how intelligent this girl is at just five years old. Rey wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be a child genius. "I'm not sure why he ignores me, Mila. All I care about is you and your well being."

Mila's eyes grow sad and Rey feels her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"I think he's lonely. Mommy broke his heart," she whispers the last part as if it is a dirty thing to be talking about.

"Where is your mommy, Mila?"

She shrugs. "She didn't want me. Daddy and Mommy used to argue all the time. She called him mean things," her little hands ball into fists. "I don't like the things she called Daddy."

"Sometimes two people are just not meant for each other but your dad loves you a lot. So, you have nothing to worry about. He'll always be there for you."

"But who will be there for him?"

Rey's heart crumbles into a billion pieces and she is rendered speechless by how pure Mila's soul is. She was so selfless and loving. Rey finds her voice and swallows down the knot that has formed there.

"I'm sure someone will be there for him too."

"I hope so," she murmurs and turns to stare out the window. It is a blatant clue that she no longer wants to talk on the matter and Rey finally starts up her piece of trash car. She arrives at home to see Ben's car already parked in the driveway. Another car parked along the street.

Rey parks alongside the curb, turning off the machine and moves to help Mila out of her car seat. Taking Mila's backpack upon her shoulder, she is startled by Mila's hand slipping into hers.

"That's mommy's car," Mila says with a shiver that Rey feels flow through herself.

_Speak of the devil and it shall appear._

Rey swallows and puts on her most radiant smile. She sees how it immediately calms Mila and she gently squeezes her hand in reassurance. They skip up the porch steps to the door, both now giggling at their silliness.

Unlocking the door with the key made for her, they walk in together to hear the sound of shouting. It's angry and full of hurt. Rey feels the loneliness in her bones at hearing the way he's yelling with such conviction that reminds Rey of the way she has always wanted to speak to her Uncle.

Mila releases a small whimper, all Rey's nurturing instincts kick in and she's picking Mila up into her arms heading straight to her room. She softly closes the door behind her and lays Mila on the bed. Rey finds a Disney playlist on her Spotify and hands it to Mila.

"You stay in here and I'll be right back, okay?"

Mila nods but grabs Rey's wrist before she can leave. "Be careful," she murmurs.

"Don't worry. Daddy and Mommy are just a little upset. I'll get them to calm down. You just listen to the tunes."

Mila releases her, a miserable expression furrowing her blonde brows, and Rey wishes she could wipe that look right off her face. No five year old should ever be able to make such an expression and Rey rushes out of the room before she breaks down crying. She has to remain calm and defuse the situation at hand.

Walking into the kitchen with much more bravado than she feels, she sees the way Ben's face is contorted into a mask of rage.

_Wild._

_He's a damn animal._

_He shouldn't look so good right now either._

Rey's thoughts go on a tangent until she gets a hold of them and steps forward. Blue eyes are on her in an instance, blonde hair in a perfect wave around her angel face. Rey has never seen a woman so beautiful; she is taken aback a bit unable to form words. The woman is classy in her designer dress and heels. There is not a single flaw that mars her olive skin and Rey almost thinks this woman is extraterrestrial.

"Who are you?" The woman asks eyeing Rey with contempt.

Ben's dark gaze falls on her; he stands a little taller crossing his arms over his chest accentuating the muscles in his arms. The anger has been wiped from his expression replaced with a stern jaw and the slight twitch under his left eye.

"Rey, I'm Mila's babysitter," Rey replied with a bit of sass behind the words. A sharp smile now gracing her features due to the way this woman looks at her like she is the scum between her toes. Rey wants to snag the blonde bitch by her perfect hair.

"Babysitter? _Seriously_ , Ben?"

"I fucking work. I can't give up my job because some dipshit is paying all my bills. I have to care for Mila with no help from you. So yeah, I have a babysitter."

The blonde bitch scans Rey from head to toe, lips curling into a sneer as she takes in Rey's overalls and gray shirt underneath. Rey stands her ground refusing to let this woman get to her.

"You hired a child to take care of our child?"

"She's eighteen."

"Are you kidding me? She looks like she's barely fourteen. Look, she doesn't even have a chest," she says with a cruel laugh. "Must suck to still have the body of a boy at eighteen huh?"

Rey's face floods with heat at the comment. Of course, this woman would know where to hit Rey where it hurts most. The one thing Rey hated about her body was the fact she still had an A-cup for a chest and her ass was barely enough to fill her jeans. Too lean and lanky. If she wanted to be a model this body would be a good thing but it had the opposite effect at this point. She just wanted to look like a woman for once in her measly existence.

"That's enough," Ben growls. "It's just like you to pick on someone that can't stand up for themselves."

Rey can't take it anymore, all the anger she feels rises to the surface and expels on an angry hiss. "I can stand up for myself just fine thank you very much! _Yes_ , I may have small tits and a small ass but I don't need to hear that from a porcelain Barbie doll that has no soul! My body may not be much but I'm sure I can get any guy off a lot faster than you! I bet it must feel like fucking a robot when it comes to you," Rey shouts and turns her attention to Ben. "If you know what is best for you, make sure this stupid bitch stays far away from Mila and you. She's nothing but trouble. Now, go take care of your daughter. I'll be leaving for the day."

Rey doesn't wait for them to react and marches into Mila's room to see the little girl fast asleep. All the anger flees from her body and she feels lighter than air. Gently taking her phone back she tucks it away and presses a kiss to Mila's forehead.

"I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

When she turns to leave Ben is there filling up the doorway with his massive form. He reaches up placing his hands on the edge of the top of the doorframe, stretching the cotton material tight around his biceps. She can't stop from trailing her eyes over the spiral of veins that race through his arms.

"I need to go," Rey insisted moving closer to him. She cranes her neck back seeing that he is making no move to step aside to let her out. Her heart skips a beat at the look in his eyes, if she didn't know any better she would think he is about to eat her alive. Her throat becomes dry and she swallows hoping to alleviate the feeling. It proves to be futile, sweat skates down her spine as he continues to rake his dark gaze all over.

"You just say whatever the hell you want don't you?" It's more of a statement than a question but Rey responds anyways.

"It's a free country, Mr. Solo."

He growls, low and throaty hitting her right in the gut. A dull throb starts between her legs and she does everything to not rub her thighs together. He would notice and then he would know just how much she wants him.

"I hate when you call me that."

"Mr. Solo? That is your name isn't it?"

"Reminds me of my fucking father. My name is Ben. I don't want you calling me anything but that."

His tongue glides along his bottom lip and Rey follows the movement. He catches her and she watches as his pupils expand becoming liquid black. She doesn't know what to think when he looks at her like that but it hits her deep. She can almost imagine his flesh warn and muscled under her hand. It sends a surge down her spine and she finds herself backing away slightly from him.

"I think it's up to me to decide what to call you right…Mr. Solo?" She is well aware that this is only going to suffice to piss him off but she can't help herself.

As expected, he lunges forward and looks prepared to kill her or kiss her. The two seem to be blurring together at this point until a soft sound yanks them both out of their game of tug-of-war.

"Just go," Ben snaps and goes to tend to Mila.

Rey doesn't wait around for him to tell her twice. Mila won't even know she was in the room with how fast she leaves. Speeding home, Rey tries to shake all the emotions Ben has yanked out of her.

 It was reckless to be this angry and by the time she got home, she was unable to bottle up her emotions. Storming inside she goes straight to the kitchen and steals one of Plutt's beer. The taste is horrible but she sucks it down anyways.

"What the fuck are you doing, girl?" Plutt snarls spewing spittle in the process.

Rey chuckles bitterly, raising the beer in her hand. "Doing whatever the fuck I want, that's what you insufferable prick!

Plutt seethes charging forward snatching the beer out of her hand and throwing it down to the ground causing it to shatter. Rey knows she is in danger but still, she pushes the man before her. A man that has never given a damn about her.

"Go to hell, Uncle! You fucking bastard!"

His palm whips across her cheek, the sting doesn't faze her this time, and she only laughs maniacally in his face.

"You little bitch!" His fist hits her straight in the eye hard enough to whip her head back. She falls backward against the stove, barely managing to hang on until another land on her jaw and the world goes black.

~♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Spotify Playlist I'm creating for this fanfiction <3
> 
>  
> 
> [Here](https://open.spotify.com/user/irishtori1/playlist/4s9UiRLlRf8cp77IsrRIso?si=9CvQoo_pQTCzYYwcIA41iA)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> XOXO


	4. Washing Machine Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't express how much you all mean to me and how it inspires me to write! So, in simple words, thank you!!!
> 
> Much love <3

**_Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart_ **   
**_Baby, bang it up inside_ **   
**_I'm not wearing my usual lipstick_ **   
**_I thought maybe we would kiss tonight_ **   
**_Baby will you kiss me already and_ **   
**_Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart_ **   
**_Baby, bang it up inside_ **

****

 

When she comes to she is shrouded in complete darkness. Her jaw aches and her eye feels like it's caved in on itself. Her entire body feels heavy as she swings her legs over the side of the bed. All the blood rushes to her head causing her to become extremely dizzy and she almost throws up the minimal contents in her stomach.

Grasping onto the side of her end table she hoists herself to unsteady feet. Walking as fast her body would allow her to she made her way into the bathroom. The light flickers on and she struggles for breath when she takes in her battered face. The underside of her jaw has a purplish hue while the one that has formed around her eye is a mess of black and blue.

"Fuck," she hisses. Grabbing a cloth, wetting it, and gently dabs it to her bloody lip. Checking the time she groans that it is five in the morning. She had been knocked out cold and the bastard didn't think to apply ice to her face.

Quickly stepping into the kitchen to find no sign of Plutt, thankfully, she grabs an ice pack, and begins the process of reducing the swelling of her bruises. She had never been any good at applying makeup and the concealer is blotchy but the best Rey can do with her limited abilities. She had been shocked to find the makeup in the first place and thanks her somewhat lucky stars for giving her at least that.

It would make due for the day and as soon as Ben arrived home she would dip out. He wouldn't notice her anyway. He never did.

Getting ready for the day in jeans and a t-shirt she keeps her hair down. She puts on a hat for added measure and is almost out the door when she hears Plutt's heavy footfalls behind her.

"Where do you think you're going?" He griped.

Clutching the strap of her purse she cursed all that was holy. Turning to face him, she keeps her eyes cast down. She wasn't in the mood to look the bastard in the eye.

"Work."

"You should have called off."

Rey scoffs. "I'm not going to screw Mr. Solo over because you can't keep your hands to yourself. He has a daughter and she is my responsibility. I have to go."

He stomps forward; it takes a lot for her to not flinch away from him. Meeting his lethal glare she continues to stand her ground.

"You had what was coming to you. You know that right?"

"Whatever you say. I really have to go."

Without another word, Rey hurried out of the house and ignored her racing heart. She had somewhere to be and that was what would get her through this moment of fear. Once she saw Mila everything would be okay.

_Everything would be okay._

~♥~

Rey manages to keep Mila distracted with movies and by the time six rolls around Mila hasn't noticed the damage inflicted upon Rey. The sound of Ben's boots hitting the wood floor has Rey gathering her stuff quickly finally catching the attention of Mila.

"Rey, are you okay?"

Rey nods and smiles even though it stings to do so. "I'm okay. I just have some things I need to take care of, sweetheart." Rey presses a quick kiss to Mila's forehead and makes her trek towards the front door. She's almost out when his voice stops her.

"I want to talk to you." His tone demands obedience and Rey wants to throw a baseball at his head. She is growing so sick and tired of people thinking they have the right to talk down to her. All she wants is for someone to give a shit about her for once in her life.

"I have to go," Rey said through clenched teeth.

"You can go after I talk to you."

"You don't _own_ me. I don't _have_ to listen to you, Mr. Solo." Her hand is still wrapped around the knob and her hair is her shield from him seeing her face.

"Stop making this difficult. It will be a quick conversation. I'm sure whatever you need to do can wait."

Rey grinds her teeth in agitation, wanting so bad to shout at him but that would mean meeting his eyes and she could not allow him to see her in this shape right now. He probably wouldn't even care.

"I'm sorry but I really have to go." Rey turns the knob. In a heartbeat, Ben is hovering beside her his hand covering hers. His palm is calloused and rough against her skin but it still heats her from the inside out.

" _Please_ , I want to apologize and I'm just being even more of a dick because I don't do shit like this," he mutters.  "I really am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It's just I'm not used to having another adult in my space. It's going to take time for me to adjust."

The apology is from the heart, Rey can tell. Still, she needs to go before he catches sight of her watery eyes that is no doubt going to ruin her shitty makeup if she lets the tears fall.

"It's fine," she says shakily. "I have to go."

"Look at me," he demands in a husky voice that does things to Rey even in this state.

"I can't," she whispers trying to tug the door open. The evident strength that keeps her from opening the door doesn't surprise her. She already knew she was no match for Ben nor any other man at this point. Maybe if she knew how to defend herself she wouldn't have wound up getting beat up by her sadistic Uncle.

"I said look at me, Rey."

He has the string that ties her to the end of it and with a gentle tug, she is staring him straight in the eyes. Her hand falls to her side as she gazes up at him helpless to run away. His eyes wander over her face, darkening as they take in the ruined makeup, and what lies beneath it all. It's quick how his hand cups the back of her neck drawing her closer to him.

"What the fuck? Who fucking did this to you?"

Rey laughed nervously, a high flitting sound. "I'm fine. I ran into a door. I'm a klutz, Ben," she says in a way that is unconvincing even to her ears.

The rise and fall of his chest become heavier, nostrils flaring as he begins to breath harder. "Tell me who did this to you, _now_."

"No one." Her eyes flit to the ground. His thumb and forefinger caress her chin gently and tilt her head back up. His own eyes have softened by measures and she is surprised by the worried way he looks at her. His brows have knitted together and his mouth is pulled into more of a grimace than a scowl. All in all, it doesn't reflect any sign of anger anymore.

"Don't lie to me," he pleads. "I want to know who did this to you."

"Then what?" she says with a little too much vehemence. Frustration overpowers her and she shoves him away. "I don't need you to help me, Mr. Solo. I can take care of myself."

His face morphs into that wicked beauty that almost comes as a relief compared to that concerned expression. She doesn't know if she can take him actually giving a shit about her. It would be too much to handle at this time.

He gave a mirthless laugh, shoving long fingers through his ebony locks, and backing away from Rey slightly. She appreciates the space even if it is minimal. His scent had taken over her senses and it was making her want to find out how he tasted. If he cared about her what could possibly stop her from doing such a thing.

"Of course you can take care of yourself. You are eighteen." Rey flinches at the sarcasm that pours out of him, a hint of agitation behind the words.

"It was an accident. He didn't mean to hit me." The lie leaves a bitter taste in her mouth but she refuses to get Ben involved in her personal situation.

"A fucking accident?" The agitation is in full force when the words spew from his mouth. "Are you fucking kidding me, Rey? You have the mouth of a sailor and have no problem telling me to put things where the sun doesn't shine, yet, you're going to stand here and defend a man that dared to lay a hand on you like this?"

"This isn't any of your concern!"

"Fuck yes it is my concern," he snaps diminishing the space between them. "You work for me. You take care of my little girl and she's going to see you like this and have questions that you are going to have to answer. I don't want her to learn that lying and letting someone hit you is seen as acceptable. So, yes, this is definitely my concern."

Rey can't hold back the tears anymore, letting them fall freely- no matter how embarrassing it may be to allow him to see her weak like this. 

"She didn't even see."

"She might see tomorrow or the next time this happens. She's not an idiot. She will pick up on your mood eventually and want to know what is wrong." His hand cups the back of her neck once again. "And do you really think I'm going to stand by and let someone lay hands on you? Do you honestly believe that's the kind of man I am?"

"I don't want you to get in trouble because of me."

He releases a breath of air and chuckles. "I think I already knew you would cause me trouble the moment you opened your mouth."

That comment draws his attention to her lips; his eyes darken with a craving she knows all too well. She starts when his thumb lightly traces across the cut on her lower lip. He mumbles an apology. Rey remains stock-still under his ministrations. His eyes rove over her face as if memorizing every detail even with the bruises that paint it purple and black.

Her breath skips with how close he is, that familiar throb starting up between her legs the longer they remain in this proximity. His fixation has her mind conjuring up different ways they could pass the time. She makes a noise at the back of her throat just thinking about the way his fingers would fill her up. They were long and thick, perfect for stretching her out. At this point she just wanted a guy to know what he was doing.

"Rey," he mutters, almost to himself. Her eyes go back and forth between his face and his throat, seeing the severe pounding of his pulse. All his emotions are bubbling to the surface and he can't seem to stop them from doing so.

"Tell me who did this to you," he bites out as if hating the way he knows how he is looking at her and touching her.

"Ben-"

"Just fucking tell me, Rey." He seems so close to losing control, reminding her of an animal all carnal instinct to defend and kill for his pack.

He watches her intensely a silent demand in them for her to tell the truth and stop beating around the bush.

"My Uncle. I stole one of his beers. It's not like he hit me for no reason."

Naked affliction dances on his features and Rey gulps down the tension that has built in her throat practically suffocating her in the process. She has never been looked at like this in her life and she isn't sure what to make of it. It is too carnal, too ardent, and all too exciting for her poor heart to take.

"Your Uncle and I need to have a little talk."

She shakes her head vehemently. "No," she hisses. "That is not going to happen. You are going to stay out of this."

"What if he beats you to the point you don't wake up? What am I supposed to do then? I can't just sit idly by and allow this to happen! Don't you fucking understand?"

"No, I don't understand! We hardly know each other and I've been babysitting Mila for a little over a month now. You avoid me at all costs, so what do you expect huh?"

"Yes, we both know I've been a giant ass and that probably won't change but I will talk to your Uncle and you will come live with me."

Her brows jump to her hairline, she pins him with a disbelieving look. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I have a guest house. You'll be safe there and I recently was offered a promotion that would require me to go into work earlier. I'm not going to be able to drop Mila off anymore. It would make things easier and you wouldn't have to worry about your piece of shit Uncle laying hands on you ever again. You can focus on school or whatever you want."

"You're fucking insane," she scoffs and turns to leave.

"Just think about it," he insists.

"I have to go."

He grasps onto her bicep, his hand is so massive that it almost wraps around the entire circumference of it.

"If he lays another fucking hand on you," he snarls, his words harsh enough to cause blisters, "I'll fucking kill him with my bare hands."

On a sharp intake of air, she nods and he allows her to leave.

A smile tugs the corner of her mouth.

All because she knows Ben Solo would make good on that promise.

~♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO
> 
> Link to spotify playlist that is inspiring this fic <3
> 
>  
> 
> [Here](https://open.spotify.com/user/irishtori1/playlist/4s9UiRLlRf8cp77IsrRIso?si=MuakdaJSSfSuVeiPCMTexQ)


	5. All Is Soft Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't felt this inspired in a while! Glad you all are enjoying this rollercoaster <3
> 
> Much love <3

 

**_Did you know_ **  
**_That we're all_ **  
**_Turning softer inside_ **  
**_We can save_ **  
**_What is pure_ **  
**_If the hearts can collide_ **  
**_All that I've ever known_ **  
**_Is the universe is wild_ **  
**_Is the universe is wild_ **

 

It shouldn't have been this easy to find where she lives. Rey had the day off due to it being Saturday and Ben managed to take Mila to daycare even though he hated the fact he had to do so. He trusted Rey more than the smiling older ladies where they seemed too friendly and weird in his opinion.

She hadn't even given her address to him and yet here he was idling outside in his truck staring at the shitty excuse for a house. It was rundown, to say the least; the grass had grown too long and turned an ugly shade of yellow. The entire house needed a paint job, dirty streaks ran down the sides, and the windows looked like anybody could break in with ease.

His own house wasn't exactly what he had always dreamt of, it was what Eliza had wanted, and at the time he was madly in love with her. So much so that he went along with the contractors to design a house she specifically wanted. He had changed the inside since she left but it still reminded him too much of her.

He met Eliza in high school and they ended up marrying only a couple of years later. Things were always on rocky ground between the two of them. Eliza had a wandering eye and on too many occasions he had found her sidling up to other men, sometimes even his own friends.

When she got pregnant with Mila she threatened to get an abortion but in the end, had a change of heart mostly because Ben begged her not to do so. Once Mila was born Eliza didn't stick around for more than a couple years. During that time, Ben doesn't even know the number of times she cheated on him.

He focused solely on Mila. He didn't care about other women and sufficed that at least Eliza was in the picture. That was until Eliza found some rich asshole that wanted to marry her and she filed for divorce when Mila turned four. Ben felt ice glaze over his heart when he signed the papers. At thirty-two he was a divorcee and practically a single-dad, it wasn't like an abundance of women were chasing after him. Still, that hadn't mattered until Rey bounded into his life.

He shouldn't even think twice about her hazel eyes or her plush lips or the fact that even with a small chest she is still the most enchanting woman he has ever laid his eyes on. The things Eliza said about her were total garbage and nowhere near the truth. Rey didn't even have to try to be beautiful; she had effortless beauty that topped Eliza in every way possible.

These thoughts were dangerous and he couldn't even count how many times he had almost taken himself in hand and gotten off to that perfect face. He hated how much he wanted to fist her hair and watch her try to take all of him in her tiny mouth.

 _Dangerous_ he repeated over and over in his head.

The reality was she was too good for him in every sense of the word on top of the fact she really was too young for him to be doting on her. She deserved a guy that would take her out on dates, tell her how pretty she is constantly, and gently fuck into her ensuring she won't be in pain. The things he imagines have earned him a one-way ticket straight to hell.

Her bruised face filters in and breaks the lustful haze replacing it with unkempt fury. Tightening his hold on the steering wheel, his knuckles bleed into white. He doesn't know what he's about to do but he sure hopes it doesn't wind up with him behind bars. Gathering his wits he turns off the ignition and makes his way up the path to the door that is a sickly green color.

Raising his fist he raps his knuckles hard enough against it to shake the door. He hears heavy footfalls and a man grumbling angrily to himself before it is whipped open. The man stares directly at his chest, blue eyes widening slightly before dragging up to meet Ben's cold stare.

"Can I help you?" Plutt mumbles bringing his beer up to his lips.

"Rey here?"

Plutt sneers, his eyes take in all of Ben. "What's it to you?"

"I'm her employer. Ben Solo." Ben doesn't offer his hand, instead choosing to cross his arms over his chest. He revels when he sees sweat begin to form on the bastard's forehead.

_That's right you piece of shit, be fucking scared._

Dark energy surged around him, his adrenaline beginning to spike just being in the presence of the man that dared to hit Rey-so damn pure, like a fucking angel-more than once.

"She babysits your kid?"

"Yeah. Does that matter?"

Plutt shrugs, trying to play things cool, and Ben senses the façade right away. This man was about two seconds from pissing his pants and was practically shaking in his disgusting slippers. He combs chubby fingers through his minimal hair and Ben notes the sweat that coats it.

"Rey is a bit young to be taking care of a kid. I think you should find someone older."

"What does age have to do with it? Your niece passed the interview with flying colors. She managed to get the job above many people a lot older and more qualified than her."

"So why did you choose her?"

"Because she has a good heart and doesn't just think about herself. She isn't a doormat though. When she needs to stand up for herself she has no problem with doing that. She may be young but she cares for my daughter like she were her own and still she doesn't try to be Mila's mom. She tells me when I'm fucking up," his voice drops an octave, becoming deep and borderline devilish as he steps closer to Plutt who has the intelligence to back up. "And it pisses me off, trust me, it does, but I would never lay a violent hand on her. _Never_."

"Rey is an irresponsible little brat that has been nothing but a thorn in my side. You have no idea what it's like to raise a child that isn't even yours. I didn't ask for my bitch of a sister to go off and die and leave me with her spawn. The girl is _not_ this saint you believe her to be."

A sardonic smile stretches across Ben's face as he steps through the threshold and closes the door behind him. Plutt has continued to back away, shaking in blatant fear, and yet, he still had the guts to talk about Rey the way he did. As if he has the right to justify what he did.

"It doesn't matter if you wanted her or not. She became your responsibility and you have decided to beat her into submission. You dared to lay a hand on an innocent girl who didn't deserve that violence. She doesn't deserve that from anybody. I have a temper like no other but I'm not usually a violent man, however, I think the only way to get through to guys like you is to give you a taste of your own medicine."

Plutt raises his hands in defense. "It was a mistake. I shouldn't have hit her but she stole my beer and she always gets this attitude with me. She fucking had it coming!"

Ben grasps the man by the collar of his shirt with both hands and yanks him closer where they are eye to eye. "It doesn't matter how much lip she gives you, that doesn't justify you punching her so hard you knocked her unconscious."

"You don't know I did that!"

"Her jaw was swollen and the entire side of her face was purple and you're telling me that didn't knock her out? Don't take me for a fool, _Unkar_."

The man lets out a frightened yell, lashing his arms out in an attempt to get away from Ben. Ben slams Plutt against the wall and raises his fist landing it hard onto Plutt's jaw. Pain ricochets throughout his entire hand but it doesn't stop him from laying another one straight into his eye and another to his cheek.

He's so far gone in his rage that he doesn't hear someone screaming his name, begging him to stop. Cold hands grasp onto his bicep and he stops, his fist hovering in the air as the red began to clear from his vision.

He is panting, breathing so hard that he feels like he just ran a triathlon. His hand throbs, all the adrenaline coursing through him numbing the pain. He catches a look at his hand to see the knuckles cracked, his blood mixing with that of Plutt's.

He lets go of Plutt, the man slumps to the ground his face a bloody mess.

 _Fuck_.

Ben had not been planning on taking it that far. He couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried; he wanted to hurt Plutt, maybe he even wanted to kill him. Glancing over his shoulder, he sighs when Rey comes into his line of vision. All the tension flees from his shoulders and he walks toward her like the wounded animal he is.

"I fucked up," he mutters. Her hand is covering her mouth as she presses into the wall opposite of where Plutt lies motionless. She must have stopped him and jumped out of the line of fire because she seems much too far from him where only moments ago he could feel how cold she is to the touch.

Rey shakes her head, her brows creeping into her brow line. Ben would find it comical if she didn't look so horrified at the moment. Her entire body trembled and Ben felt it like a punch to the balls. He didn't want to scare her and he did just that. He had fucked up his plan to stay calm and talk it out. If Plutt had just shut up this wouldn't have even occurred or that's what he told himself. He was sure either way he was going to knock the living daylights out of Unkar.

"Rey, just call the cops. I'm sure the asshole will press charges on me."

She shakes her head, tears slipping down her golden cheeks. Removing her hand from her mouth, her lower lip is quivering, and he has half a mind to trace his thumb over the place that is now healing. He had done it before and it had felt so natural, like coming home. It had only sufficed to make him crave her more. She had allowed him to touch her in such a way and that proved she at least trusted him a little bit.

"He won't press charges. He's been in and out of the can for so long now that they'll believe he's talking rubbish. Plus, they'll just say he got what he deserved. He has enemies," she says in a panicked breath. "You have to go, now." She looks so frightened as if she has no idea what to do now, and Ben hates that he put that there.

Moving into her space he gently places his hands on her shoulders giving them a reassuring squeeze. "Everything will be okay, Rey. If what you say is true then I'm in the clear."

Her hazel eyes meet his own and he feels all his walls crumbling down. His hands skim up the sides of her neck, she releases a shaky breath leaning into his touch, and he finds all his resistance for her wearing thin.

"You still have to go before he wakes up."

"You think I'm going to leave you here? He'll fucking take his anger out on you and I'm not going to let that happen to you ever again."

"I can't live with you, Ben. It wouldn't be…appropriate."

"Why? You would be living in my guest house and caring for my daughter. I'll pay you more if that's the problem."

Rey clasps a hand on the back of his where it now rests on her uninjured cheek, thumb trailing back and forth over the bone. "That's not the problem. I just think it would be confusing for Mila is all. People would get ideas about us and I don't want her being taunted over things of that matter."

"Who gives a fuck what people say? You and I know there is nothing happening between us." If by saying the words he realizes he's holding her in such an intimate way. Of course, people would get the wrong idea. Still, he isn't going to let her get beaten day in and day out.

"Ben," she whispers.

"I'm not going to let that man lay his hands on you like that ever again. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you because of me. _Please_ , just come live with me, Rey."

"This is a bad idea."

"Maybe it is but I don't care. I want to keep you safe and as far as I know, this is the only way I can do so."

"What are we going to tell Mila?"

"She'll understand. Trust me, Rey. Don't worry about that."

Rey swallows and nods. "Fine. Let me get my things together."

Ben heaves a sigh of relief. "I'll be waiting."

While Rey packs, Ben ensures Plutt is still breathing. Unfortunately, the sad fuck gets to live another day. Ben pushes back up to his feet and finds a bag of peas in the freezer pressing it against Plutt's face.

"That's all the help you're getting from me you miserable bastard."

Plutt groans in his sleep and shudders at Ben's voice. Rey doesn't take long and they leave to pick up Mila heading to get some food before heading home. Mila rambles on about what she did in daycare, Ben listens attentively, smiling, and laughing at everything she says. His little girl is his world. The person he would die for in a heartbeat. Even on his darkest days, Mila has shined her bright light upon him and has kept him from pitying himself too much.

Mila may look nothing like him but she is definitely a daddy's girl through and through. He didn't think his life would change for the better until he held her in his arms and everything became brighter. He has remained focused on what he has to do because of her. With her mother out of the picture, it was all for the best.

Parking his truck in the driveway, he opens the door and takes Mila into his arms after helping her out of the car seat. Going around to the other side he grabs Rey's bags before she can protest. He nods for her to open the door, her mouth forms into a small scowl but she does what he asks.

Walking in he presses kisses to Mila's cheeks, loving the way she giggles and pushes at him like she really wants him to stop. If he were to stop she would only demand more kisses. Catching Rey's eyes he sees the awe in them and he feels the urge to pepper her face in kisses just to see the reaction he could get out of her. Forcing that thought to the depths of his mind he leads Rey out the backdoor, passing the pool, and puts Mila down long enough to unlock the guest house for Rey.

Mila begins to do half cartwheels across the lawn, keeping herself entertained while Ben sets Rey's things down inside.

"It has a bathroom," he points off to the side. "I know it's nothing much but whatever you need just ask and I'll pick it up on Monday for you."

"This is more than enough. Thank you, Ben." She nervously tucks a strand behind her ear.

He wants to stop what he does next but his curiosity gets the best of him. He takes her jaw in his hands and presses a kiss to her forehead. She gasps and jumps a little at the touch. It's so endearing he finds himself wanting to know what other reactions he could draw out of her.

His lips touch her cheek, pressing a couple of soft kisses there that causes her to make a small whimpering sound. His lips ghost over the bruises, wanting to pour love into the hate inflicted wounds, and wipe them clean from her perfect skin.

Stopping himself from going further, he presses his forehead to hers. "I promise I'll take care of you, Rey. If you let me."

She can only nod and he pulls away before he does something he'll regret.

"You can raid the kitchen as much as you like. I'm going to get Mila to bed and get some sleep myself. I'll have breakfast ready in the morning. Get some rest."

"Thank you, Ben," she whispers, a flush coats her cheeks.

"Goodnight."

He shuts the door behind him, his heart racing faster than it ever has in his life. Mila doesn't seem to notice the shift in him and he is grateful for that.

Laying on his bed staring at the ceiling he comes to the realization that he is utterly fucked.

~♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO


	6. Constant Craving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goodness, the feedback I have gotten is just blowing me away!
> 
> Thank you to everybody and the amazing comments I've received thus far! 
> 
> You all are amazing!
> 
> Much love <3

**_Even through the darkest phase_ **  
**_Be it thick or thin_ **  
**_Always someone marches brave_ **  
**_Here beneath my skin. Maybe a great magnet pulls_ **  
**_All souls to what's true_ **  
**_Or maybe it is life itself_ **  
**_That feeds wisdom to its youth_ **

 

She traces over the faint bruising on her skin, glad they have finally healed almost to completion. It had been a couple of weeks since she moved in with Ben and they had yet to talk about what happened between them. She figured he was avoiding the subject for a reason and that was why she decided to keep quiet about it as well. She didn't want to make things awkward between them, especially since she would be living in the guest house, and caring for Mila for the time being.

She _should_ forget about his dark eyes that rendered her speechless.

She _should_ forget about his large hands engulfing her face with ease.

She _should_ forget about those soft lips pressing against her skin.

But she _can't_.

It's a feeling she won't be able to fight. She already knows that is inevitable, still, she can do her best to control her base desires. Groaning she gets ready for the day and finds Mila already dressed eating breakfast in the kitchen. There is no sign of Ben and she figures he has already left for work.

"Is your dad here?" She asks grabbing the orange juice out of the fridge.

"Nope, he's gone," Mila says through a mouthful of eggs.

Rey chuckles pouring herself a tall glass and takes a couple of gulps to quench her thirst. Eyeing the eccentric patterns Mila wears her smile deepens. "Did you get yourself ready this morning?"

Mila nods and smiles proudly. "I don't have school so daddy said I could pick whatever I wanted."

"Well, I think you look lovely."

Mila thanked her, becoming bashful until she starts shoveling the rest of her breakfast down and Rey takes that as her turn to make herself a quick breakfast.

"Can we go swimming today?" Mila asks.

Rey notes the slight breeze outside and checks the temperature just in case. It's about ninety degrees, relatively hot but not enough to fry like an egg at first contact.

"Of course, sweetheart."

They blast the air conditioning for a couple hours, staying cool while they watched ‘The Lion King' before they headed out to brave the heat. Rey hated to admit she still cried every time Mufasa dies and has to hide her tears when the scene plays out. Mila cuddles into Rey's side and doesn't say anything; she doesn't have to because Rey already understands Mila can read situations without even having to ask.

After the movie, Mila runs off to change into her bathing suit while Rey cuts up watermelon slices and prepares a few peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She finds a cooler that she packs with ice and places a couple of waters inside, the watermelon slices in a Ziploc bag and the sandwiches the same. Whipping up a batch of lemonade, she grabs a blanket off the couch on her way outside and prepares the entire ensemble on the grass.

Heading back inside she heads into her room and puts on her red bikini, it is plain in every sense of the word but she isn't trying to impress anyone. Slipping into shorts and a shirt, she walks back into the kitchen, and lets out a yelp when she sees Ben. Placing her hand over her heart she tries to steady the rapid beating.

One dark brow rises as he sets his stuff onto the counter. Normally, he would have already showered and come home in clean clothes but today he's still dressed in a white t-shirt that has the company he works for logo sprawled across the expanse of his chest. He wears a hat that mats down his thick locks, still, she finds it much too sexy, and the grime that stains his pale skin makes her flush harder for some reason she can't quite understand.

He takes off his hat placing it by his other belongings already sprawled out on the counter. "Where's Mila?"

"Getting ready to go swimming." Rey can hear the way her voice shakes and hopes he won't notice how nervous she is right now.

"It's hot as hell outside. She's going to need to put on sunscreen."

Rey rolls her eyes at the stern comment like she doesn't already know that's rule number one before stepping out under the rays of the blazing sun. Especially with Mila who had fair skin. Rey's attention is then drawn to Ben's equally fair skin which actually might be lighter than Mila's now that she is taking a closer look.

"Of course, Mr. Solo."

His jaw clenches and she forces herself to not smirk at how much he hates being called that. She wonders why he doesn't want to be reminded of his father. She can't gather the nerve to ask him due to the fact she knows he won't appreciate her asking in the first place.

 From what she has gathered so far Ben Solo is a complex man. He can be a brute of a man and then become some gentle giant that she can't quite figure out. He is obviously an amazing father but still holds this hatred for the mother. The hatred may be well deserved; however, he needs to move on so that doesn't affect Mila in the future. Rey wants nothing more than to understand Ben but she knows that's not a possibility as of now.

Mila's feet clapping against the tile breaks the tension that had filled the room and a brilliant smile appears on her face when she sees Ben.

"Daddy!" Mila races to him, a smile breaks on his face as she wraps her arms around his thigh and digs her face into it.

"Hey, princess," he murmurs mussing her hair up.

"Rey and I are going swimming!"  Rey chuckles at how wide Mila's eyes are and how excited she is.

"That sounds fun."

"You should come swimming too, daddy!" Mila lets go of him to bounce up and down whilst clapping her hands.

Ben runs a hand through his hair, ebony gaze meeting Rey's for a moment before settling back on Mila. "I should shower first. I don't want to get dirt in the pool," he says and Rey can feel her pulse thundering as sweat rolls down her spine.

She had yet to see Ben without a shirt on. She's not sure if she would be able to handle it after seeing just his arms made her dry in the mouth. Plus, he would see her body for what it is plain and simple. Like her bathing suit. She wanted to groan at her cruel fate but held it down watching Ben head over to his room and out of her view.

Letting out a rush of air Rey meets Mila's curious eyes. To get her attention off of Rey's obvious distress, she led her outside and helped her put on sunscreen. They ate a couple of watermelon slices until finally Mila was getting restless and Rey forced herself to shed her clothing to get into the shallow end with Mila.

Mila shows Rey a couple of the tricks she can do like holding her breath underwater for four seconds and the somersaults she can somewhat do. Rey finds it all endearing and forgets about Ben for a good fifteen minutes until he walks outside sporting no shirt and a pair of black board shorts.

The sun burns even hotter on her skin or that's what she would like to blame it on. It is no doubt the burning inferno inside of her that has flamed her skin and made her mouth dryer than the Sahara desert. There was no way to describe a man like Ben Solo. Words would never be good enough. Classifying him as some war god was on the right path but even then she thought it was not befitting enough.

Black locks were damp from his recent shower, curling around his neck complimenting the skin that she was desperate to press kisses against if only he would let her return the favor. She was happy to find that those beauty marks didn't stop only at his neck but traveled over his broad chest and down his cut abs leading her eyes to that trail of black hair.

He was mesmerizing, his back now facing her giving her an eyeful of his traps that she wouldn't mind sinking her nails into when he is-

She tears her eyes away from all his glory and sees that Mila is still happily playing in the shallow not seeming to mind Rey becoming distracted. As Rey is about to turn her eyes to that god of a man Mila clutches onto her wrist tearing Rey's attention to her.

"Daddy always picks me up and throws me clear across the water, it's so much fun! Maybe he'll do the same for you," Mila says ecstatically not able to understand Rey's inner turmoil at being anywhere near Ben in that kind of proximity.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Rey chuckles nervously.

Mila scowls at her. "No, it's lots of fun."

"You know how to swim that well?"

"I can swim like a mermaid, Rey like Ariel!" The scowl is replaced with a brilliant smile that soothes Rey's nerves. Ben wouldn't put his little girl into danger, that would be silly to think but at this point, she was trying every reason to distract her thoughts from thinking Ben was a good man. It would be easier to see him in that asshole light of his instead of being adorable so much so that her heart couldn't take it.

"I bet you can but I think I'm a little too heavy for daddy." The words are a mistake right when they leave her mouth. She forgot the 'your' and Ben was stepping into the pool right as she said that.

His eyes whip over to hers; her entire body breaks out in sweat even though she is literally in the water and she is somehow saved by the bell when Mila sighs. "That might be true, daddy is strong but I'm a lot smaller than you."

Rey wants to admire Mila's blunt nature but she's more relieved at the fact her fumble had gone right over Mila's head. Rey watches her swim excitedly to Ben demanding to be picked up. He lifts her into his arms, holding her off to one side of him using the other arm to swim into the deep end. Mila giggles the entire time, pressing kisses against Ben's cheek over and over again. That warm feeling settles over Rey once again seeing the duo together.

The moments such as these just prove that Ben has a bigger heart than he is letting on. He wears a mask to cover up what is going on underneath the surface. She knows she shouldn't let herself get so fixated on him especially due to the fact he has a kid and is a hell of a lot older than her. Still, she wants to help him conquer the demons that he is battling. She doesn't want to change him she only wants to be there for him.

_I'm fucking crazy._

She can't be thinking like this. It wouldn't end well for either party and she has more important things to focus on, like school and what the future will bring.

Lifting her gaze, her heart stills for a beat or two before picking up like a stampede of bison. Mila is having too much fun hanging onto the back of Ben while he wades in the deep end keeping them both afloat. His dark eyes are staring straight at her chest, any other man would have the decency to look away once they've been caught, not Ben- _fucking_ -Solo. No, he lifted his attention to her and acted like he had done nothing wrong.

Rey glared at him, ducking under the water slightly to cover herself, and still, she drew no reaction out of him. Mila distracted him and Rey was left to stew in her confusion. He was a pervert to do such a thing but she wasn't exactly upset with the look in his eyes. That look…that maybe _just_ maybe Ben wasn't as unaffected as he acted.

"Let's play Marco Polo!" Mila exclaimed.

"Mila-" Ben began but shut his mouth when Mila gave him a death stare. "Fine, let's play Marco Polo," he grumbled.

"Rey, you go first!"

"Um okay," Rey stuttered closing her eyes and began to count to ten letting Mila and Ben disperse to a place where they believed they wouldn't be caught.

"Ten, Marco!"

"Polo." The voices combined and Rey wasn't able to tell which one came from where.

"Marco!"

"Polo!" Mila screamed this time it sounded like it came from the right and Rey began to swim towards the spot hearing giggling as she drew closer.

"Marco," Rey declared.

"Polo!" The voice was coming from right in front of her and Rey reached out catching a giggling Mila.

Mila was more than excited to be IT and the game continued on until finally, Mila caught Ben who had been yet to be captured. For someone so big he sure could move around quietly and make his voice sound like it was coming from the complete opposite direction.

Ben counts to ten, Mila darts to one side of the pool making herself small whereas Rey tries to swim as silent as possible to a place where she hopes her voice will make her sound far away. Ben could do it so she was going to give it a shot.

"Marco," Ben's voice rumbles and Rey feels it like an electric shock right between her thighs.

"Polo.” Comes out on a strained breathy sound that makes Ben go rigid. He plays it off coolly maneuvering his way towards Mila even though he no doubt heard Rey close by.

Mila finds a way to escape every single time until finally, Ben turns towards Rey's voice. Rey's heart is pounding as she says Polo and he draws ever closer. She is paddling back trying to escape him until her back draws up against the wall of the pool. There is nowhere to escape to so she waits with bated breath as he says Marco and she is forced to say Polo.

He moves forward, standing to his full height in the shallow end, and Rey feels like everything is moving in slow motion as he reaches out and grasps onto her bicep. His eyes open and she swallows at the desire swimming in his ebony orbs. She knows full well that is what is staring back at her and she wonders if he even realizes what he is doing.

"You caught her daddy!" Mila shouts with a clap of her hands breaking the moment between Rey and Ben.

His features morph into one of pure confusion, brows tugging together as his eyes wander almost frantically over her face down to her chest that rises and falls a little faster until he lets go of her and swims back to Mila. He says something to her and they are getting out of the pool much to Mila's dismay.

Rey sinks under the water.

This was _not_ going to end well.

~♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO


	7. Can't Get You Out Of My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all of you amazing people!!
> 
> Much love <33333

**_There's a dark secret in me_ **   
**_Don't leave me lost in your arms_ **   
**_Set me free_ **   
**_Feel the need in me_ **   
**_Set me free_ **   
**_Stay forever and ever and ever_ **

 

"Are you okay, daddy?" Mila asks as she sits in the bath while Ben stews in his own thoughts leaning against the sink counter.

Ben isn't even sure if Rey is still sitting in the pool or if she had finally gotten out residing to her room. He had ushered Mila inside without so much as a word in Rey's direction. He could tell all the sun had made Mila tired no matter how much she protested and he needed anything at the moment to get himself away from Rey.

As time progressed he was finding it more and more difficult to stay away from the temptation that was her. He felt like a teenage boy when he had first laid eyes upon her in her little red bikini that revealed way too much. All her golden skin layered with freckles was enough to make him go hard in a heartbeat. He had never seen such a naturally beautiful woman in his life and Rey was becoming too much to resist.

Her chest was small and he had a feeling she was self-conscious about the fact. She was all lean muscle with slight curves and he wondered if the reason why she felt the need to hide from him was that people had made her feel ashamed about her body. To him Rey was perfect. Eliza had always been too much in his opinion.

Eliza had always felt the need to glamour herself up; with well-endowed assets she enjoyed rubbing it into other women's faces if they had nothing more than a handful. Ben despised the way she killed others confidence with a couple of cruel words. He had especially hated the way she treated Rey, he had seen the way it bothered her to be demeaned in such a way. He had been an idiot to not defend her more thoroughly.

Rey may not have the biggest chest or ass on the market but he didn't care. He could stare at her forever and never find himself bored. He could trace every freckle and expanse of golden skin for the rest of his days and be content.  That thought alone was enough to suck the air right out him. Enough to make him desperate for a solid breath of oxygen.

He mindlessly rubbed the spot that encased his heart.

"Daddy?"

Ben snapped his head over to Mila who was holding her rubber ducky close to her chest eyeing him with concern. His eyes softened; walking over to the side of the tub he kneeled down and ran a hand over her pale cheek.

"Yes, princess?"

"Something is wrong," she whispered, her lower lip becoming wobbly in the tell-tale sign tears were soon to follow.

"Nothing is wrong, princess. Daddy is just tired is all."

She shook her head vehemently, not believing him, and he felt that right to the gut. The last thing he wanted was to make Mila worry. He was the one that was supposed to be worrying about her and her well being but recently he had become so swamped in his own issues that he didn't think about what she might be feeling.

"You're lying."

A couple of tears slipped down her face, his heart sufficed to break at that moment. His little girl was too precious for this world. That scared the living hell out of him. She could be so strong but she was still too young for the bullshit that occurred in his own life.

"Baby, I'm fine. Nothing is wrong."

His little girl is so smart pulling away from him to unplug the tub, the water begins to dispel from the tub and without another word she is standing grabbing her towel. She wraps it around herself and before he can process anything her thin arms are wrapping around his neck.

"I know you, daddy. I know something is wrong."

His heart clenched and he gathered her into his arms walking her to her bedroom.

"Do you like Rey?" Her words cause a ringing in his ear and he sets her down once in the room staring into those unbelievably blue eyes.

"What makes you say that?" He sounds breathless even to his own ears and he wants to chide himself for being such an idiot.

"You act funny around her."

"I always act funny," he mumbled but the words always hold no truth.

"You look at her the way you look at chocolate cake."

Ben's entire face becomes flushed, "What?" He splutters.

"You love chocolate cake, daddy. You make it once a month for no reason and whenever you do you stare at it for five minutes before you-"

"Okay, I understand, princess," he interrupts her not wanting to hear such words coming out of her innocent mouth. She doesn't even understand what she is saying and he hates that she caught onto how much he wants Rey.

"So," she said fluttering her blonde lashes, "You do like her?"

"You need to get some rest."

She pouts, her bottom lip sticking out but inevitably puts on her pajamas and hops into bed. Ben puts on her night light, pressing a dozen kisses to her face relishing the way she giggles.

"Goodnight, daddy."

"Goodnight, princess." He turns off the light and heads back into the kitchen to see the guest house light on.

He can see slight shadows behind the blinds and he finds himself wanting to see a glimpse of her. He knows it is wrong to want her this much but he can't help himself, the need to have her was bubbling to the boiling point and he didn't know if he was capable to stop himself anymore. Taking a beer out of the fridge he distracts himself for a time being until movement out of the corner of his eye catches his attention.

Remaining as inconspicuous as he can he peers out the window to see her lighting something up. Confusion furrows his brows and he narrows his eyes trying to figure out what exactly he is seeing. He can see the visible inhalation into her lungs, the held breath before a string of smoke filters out of her mouth. He's outside before he can stop himself and she tenses immediately, whatever was in her hand has now fallen to the floor.

"Mr. Solo, I can explain," she rushes out. Ben notices around her eyes has already become tinted in a light shade of pink.

"I'm not your fucking father, you don't have to explain anything to me," he grumbles kneeling down to grab the still lit joint. "If you don't mind." He takes a hit off of it and exhales on a ragged breath.

When he stands back to his full height, he notes how wide Rey's eyes are. "Mr. Solo," she says flabbergasted.

"You know I hate being called that and yet you keep doing it. Drives me fucking crazy," he grouses and takes another hit off the joint handing it back to her after.

She stares at it like it will be the death of her, flicking her eyes between that and his face. "Take the damn joint, Rey. Don't look so surprised."

"You just smoked pot in front of me, Mr. Solo, I'm going to be somewhat surprised," she snaps finally returning to her feisty self snatching the joint from his fingers.

"You think an old man like me can't get high once in a while?" He teases crossing his arms over his chest.

She rolls her eyes. "If you think you're an old man you have some serious issues."

"I'm a lot older than you."

Her eyes narrow as she blows out smoke. "I don't see how that is relevant to this conversation."

Ben realizes his mistake a little too late, there was no reason for him to say what he did, and still, he had gone there and now would have to find a way to backtrack. It was hard to do so when his skin had heated like an inferno, he had no doubt his skin was bright red giving away his embarrassment.

"It's not. Forget I said it."

_Smooth._

_Real fucking smooth, Ben._

"Sure," she scoffed putting out the joint and turned to head back into her new place. Ben's hand reached out in a flash wrapping around her wrist.

"Wait," he whispered.

Rey peered down at his hand and then up to his face. Her brows had knitted together, hazel eyes trying to figure out why he was holding onto her. His heart thundered as he moved into her space letting go of her wrist to bury his fingers into her wavy hair. He gently tugged her head back, he groaned at the way her lips parted releasing a shaky breath.

"Ben," she said as quiet as a mouse.

He growled at the sound of his name coming from her sweet lips. "What?"

"I'm scared too."

"What are you talking about?"

Warm fingertips press against his stomach, the touch startles him, the muscles there clenching hard causing him to release a strangled sound. "This feeling, it burns," she pauses dragging her fingers lower trailing down the strip of hair that led to a part of him that was growing more rigid by the second. " _You_ make me burn, Ben."

The confession has him reeling, his free hand clasps onto the back of hers. His chest is rising and falling hard and he is a hundred percent sure he is panting as he tries to understand what is going on. The pot is clouding his judgment and it seems to be having the same effect on Rey due to the lust he sees shining back at him.

He is rendered speechless by the realization she wants him as badly as he wants her. She is putting her feelings on the line, willing to face the consequences, and he wished he could be half as brave as her.

_Too young. Too fucking young._ His brain screams at him.

His fingers tighten in her locks, pressing his forehead against hers he now knows full well he is panting into the limited space between them. His abs are clenching and unclenching over and over again, all rational thought is slipping from his grasp. He encircles her wrist and begins to push her hand lower, fingertips scrape over the space under his bellybutton until they reach the waistband of his board shorts.

There is nothing but the sounds of their shallow breathing, no words just an unspoken knowledge that they both want the same thing. She is trembling in his hold. His eyes search hers only seeing an abundance of desire shining back. He's never felt this way holding a woman before, this feels different, and he is desperate to understand what is going on.

_It burns._

_Yes, it fucking does._

He pulls away a fraction to press a kiss against her forehead, she gasps clutching the top of his shorts pulling a groan out of him. His cock isn't getting the message to settle down only growing harder with every sound she makes and every touch of her skin against his own. He presses another kiss to her cheek, another to her jaw traveling to hover right over her lips.

Before she could draw another breath he presses a tentative kiss against her lips. They both let out small sounds, finding each other's eyes, searching to see if the other could make sense of what was happening between them.

"I'm sorry," Ben muttered.

Rey drew closer to him; her fingers toyed with the strings of his shorts only for a moment before tugging them loose. Her lips pressed against his chest and he lost the battle with his morality. He pressed her up against the stucco wall, tilting her head back lips descending on hers once more. As much as he wanted to devour her, he kept the kiss gentle, tender as the tip of his tongue flirted with the seam of her lips.

Her lips opened on a soft moan, his tongue slipped inside meeting hers, and suddenly it was like the levee broke. She moved her lips over his almost frantically, her hands working together to unfasten his shorts, his hand still wrapped around her wrist but doing nothing to deter what she was planning to do. All he could focus on was how sweet she tasted and how good it felt to be touched in this way after so damn long.

Her kiss was a tad clumsy, inexperienced but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He tightened his hold in her hair, angling her face so he could deepen the kiss. She had no problem in following his lead and he found she was a quick learner. She bit down gently on his lower lip slipping her hand into his shorts right over the dark hair that resided there until he stopped her from going any further.

"Rey, please, we need to stop," he panted against her lips, her fingers dangerously close to touching the base of his cock. If she touched him in such a way he isn't entirely sure he could stop himself anymore.

"Just give in, Ben," Rey whispered. He was trembling like a dog left out in the rain, he didn't want to surrender to this feeling, and yet, here she was standing before him begging him to do just that.

"You don't want this, Rey. Trust me."

"Don't tell me what I want, Mr. Solo."

He chuckles but there is no warmth. "You drive me fucking crazy," he concluded and slammed his lips on hers shoving her hand lower to where it was touching his throbbing cock. She moans into his mouth, angling it up to aid her strokes. She strokes him up and down unsure at first, gaining a steady rhythm as she got used to the movement.

"Ah, _fuck_ ," he grunts yanking her head back tracing a path along the side of her neck with the tip of his tongue. He bit hard into her shoulder when her thumb swiped over the head smearing the precum that had gathered there in maddening circles. She yelped at the harsh bite but didn't stop her ministrations.

He couldn't help himself, slightly thrusting into her hand not quite sure how the hell he wound up in this position with Rey but he wasn't about to stop no matter how taboo it was. This feeling felt way too amazing and he wanted to feel good for once in his life with a woman.

All he had really known was Eliza and that had been a nightmare. The sex had always been mediocre; Eliza would rather get her kicks somewhere else when it came to that. She mostly used him for the benefits his job had to offer to spouses. Sometimes he thinks she never really did love him.

This moment with Rey topped everything he ever did with Eliza. He was getting a hand job for Christ's sake and it was the best thing he felt sexually since he started fucking. Her palm is so soft, warm, and he can already feel his release rising to the breaking point. He had never gotten off this quick, it was embarrassing, and he tried to think of anything to stop what was about to happen.

"I'm going to come," he growls against her shoulder.

She moans a heady sound and that does him in. Warm spurts cover her hand; still, she doesn't stop until he feels like she's drained the life out of him.

They are both breathing hard, eyes finally meeting after several moments of them just staring down at his cock.

"Rey-"

"Don't say this was a mistake. I don't think I'd be able to handle that," she interrupts him and he hears the vulnerability clear in her voice and the lost kitten look in her eyes.

His eyes soften, hand slipping from her hair to cradle her jaw. "I don't think this was a mistake. I just want to say thank you."

"Thank you?"

"I'd rather have this conversation another time," he murmured flicking his eyes to the mess on her hands and back to her face that was now a blistering red.

"I should clean up," she stammered.

"Yeah, me too."

Letting go of him, she hurried inside leaving him alone with his thoughts.

He wished he could say that what just happened was a mistake but that would just be a lie.

Whatever he was feeling for Rey wouldn't go away even if he tried. He was going to go with the flow with something for once in his life and he could only hope it didn't turn out a total nightmare.

~♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO


	8. Falling Slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here I am months later and I apologize for the delay. This chapter is super sweet to the point you might get a cavity. I'm just not feeling the need to write any angst and want a happy ending. The next chapter will feature a time jump and will be the conclusion. I will write an epilogue though. Thanks for bearing with me and I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Much love <3

 

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home** _  
_**We've still got time** _  
_**Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice** _  
_**You'll make it now** _

 

She fidgets with the end of her sleeve, picking at a loose thread. Her eyes remain glued to the floor as she feels the weight of his stare on her. It had been days since their previous encounter, nights left wondering if what they had done was a mistake until finally, he asked to talk to her tonight.

Mila had already been put to sleep for the night and was out like a light the moment her head hit the pillow. Rey had stroked her hair tenderly away from her face, smiling down at the little girl she already loved. Walking out of her room she had run into Ben and that was how they wound up in the living room, him in his favorite chair, and she on the couch.

"Rey," he says after a lengthy amount of silence between them.

She forces her eyes to meet his, breath hitching seeing the lust reflected in his dark gaze. Her hands clasp together, only able to respond to him with a nod.

"The truth is I like you, Rey. I like how you don't try to be anybody but yourself. You are strong-willed and I admire the hell out of that," he admits, biting his lower lip as he hesitates to continue. Rey's heart is thundering like a stampede of wild horses, waiting patiently for him to continue. His eyes flit between hers before he continues. "I like who I am when I'm around you. For once in my life, I don't feel like complete shit. So, I want to give us a try…only if that is what you want too."

"You want to date?" She whispers, knowing this is a stupid question after all he confessed but she is on the verge of passing out and needs confirmation before she does so.

The smile that graces his face is a shock to her system, it brightens his entire face, his eyes now a deep amber color. "Yes, I would like to date you but if you feel like I'm moving too fast or being presumptuous, please, don't feel like you have to say yes."

Rey's hands are clammy; wiping them off on her jeans she forces herself to breathe. She must look like a nutcase, still, she is shocked by his confession, and isn't completely sure what to make of it or what it means.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a little confused. Does this mean you still want me to be Mila's babysitter?"

He chuckles. "I think I would prefer you be her guardian. I'll take care of all your living expenses, school, etc. Still, I understand if that's too forward of me. If you wanted to get a job I wouldn't stop you."

Her stomach flutters, a lump forming in her throat. Tears form at the corner of her eyes, staring at the man who is offering her a chance to be part of a family for once in her life. All she has ever wanted was someone to care about her. She never thought by meeting Ben that she would find what she had been looking for all along. A couple of months had made up for years of loneliness.

" _Yes_ ," she says, standing up on shaky legs.

"Yes?" He mutters, also standing to his full height. They move towards one another until they are mere inches apart. His large hand cups the side of her jaw, thumb tracing back and forth over her cheekbone.

She leans into his touch. "I want to be with you."

"I don't want to rush anything with you. I'm going to take you on a proper date above all things. The rest will follow when the time is right."

"I would like that."

"Can I kiss you?" He asks leaning down to the point their lips are a breath away.

"Do you even have to ask?"

Her eyes fall closed as his lips press against hers. Everything falls away except for the feel of Ben this close to her. She knows she is going to fall head over heels for this man and she's not one bit afraid. She already knows the truth her heart tells.

~♥~

"Are you sure it's okay if Mila tags along?" Ben asks pulling his white Henley over his head as Rey sits at the edge of his bed.

"You think I'd have it any other way?" She asks with a quirk of her brow.

He shakes his head, that mega-watt smile forming. "It is our first date. I figured you'd want it to be just us but I don't really trust anyone to babysit her at the moment."

"I understand. I truly don't mind. I love Mila."

Ben turns to face her, looking like sex on a stick with his dark jeans, combat boots, and Henley that shows off how broad he is. "You're seriously like no other woman I've met in my life."

Rey shrugs. "I'm just telling the truth."

He strides towards her, taking her face in his hands to press a kiss to her forehead, and then her lips. It was innocent at first until she deepens it with a press of her tongue to the seam of his lips. He opens his mouth on a low groan, meeting her tongue with his own. She releases a gasp when he hikes her up the bed, settling his lower body between her thighs. He fists her hair kissing her like a man on a mission.

She can't get enough of his weight pressed to her, his muscular body making her feel like a tiny doll beneath him. Her arms reach up tangling around his strong, thick neck, his kiss heating her from the inside out. His free hand drifts to her hip, settling there and pulling her closer to the point she can feel the rigid length of him pressing into her bundle of nerves. She moans when he rocks into her, he takes this moment to run his lips up to the column of her throat, nipping at her pulse point.

"You are so beautiful," he murmurs right beside her ear, pressing a kiss to the sensitive skin behind. Her entire body shudders, his hand leaving her hair to trail over the top of her heaving chest down to where he cups her breast in one, massive palm.

"Oh god, Ben," she croaks, her back bowing off the bed begging to be even closer to him.

He drags his cock roughly against her, a harsh breath escaping him with the motion. She can see his jaw clench and unclench with his restraint. His hand falls away from her breast, both hands sinking into the covers by her head, gripping them tightly. His lips claim hers again, the slow roll of his tongue against hers driving her crazy.

Lost in the heat of the moment, both are unaware of the little girl that enters the room.

"Daddy?"

Rey feels Ben stiffen above her, his lips hovering over hers. She tries and fails to stifle a smile at the fact they have been caught in this situation. Ben moves off of her, clearing his throat he bends to one knee, Mila giving them both curious looks as she moves closer to him. Rey gets off the bed as well, smoothing down her clothes in an attempt to not appear as frazzled as she feels.

"Hi, princess," Ben murmurs and pushes a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

Rey notes the bright pink dress Mila has chosen, paired with mismatching socks, and white flats. Her smile widens as she too kneels down in front of Mila. She tugs gently at the end of her dress.

"I love what you've chosen to wear."

Mila smiles a toothy grin, a slight pink forming across her pale cheeks. "Thank you. I'm happy daddy let me pick what I wanted."

"Me too because you've picked the perfect outfit to wear for our date."

Mila's blonde brow quirks high on her head. "So, daddy and you are…in love?"

It's Rey's turn to blush; peeking at Ben out of the corner of her eye she sees a small smile on his face. "Perhaps we are," Ben murmurs.

Rey's heart beats an unsteady tempo but she is unable to comment because Ben lifts Mila into his arms and begins to tickle her mercilessly. Rey takes the time to admire Ben and his love for his daughter. He seems most content whenever he is around Mila and she wonders how Mila's mother could ever abandon this duo for wealth. If things go her way, she wants to be around these two for the rest of her life.

Shaking herself out of her reverie, she grabs her purse and follows Ben out to his truck. He is listening to Mila babble away about the tea party she held with her favorite stuffed animals as he straps her into her car seat. Once he is finished helping her, he lends Rey a hand to help her into the truck before taking his seat on the driver side.

"Where are we going, daddy?" Mila asks.

"We're going to go to your favorite place on earth."

Mila squeals from the backseat. "We're going to Chuck-e-cheese?"

Rey watches the brilliant smile form on Ben's face. He looks over at her and her heart practically melts inside her chest. "I hope you don't mind," he whispers to her.

She shakes her head. "Of course not."

Mila begins to chant Chuck-e-cheese, her excitement contagious to the point even Rey is excited Ben has chosen to go there. It doesn't take more than twenty minutes to arrive at their destination. Mila is spinning in circles due to how excited she is. Entering the building, Rey is somewhat relieved to see it is not full of people. She wants Mila to be able to play to her heart's content while she herself gorges on pizza.

Ben doesn't waste time in buying a ton of tokens and a pizza for all of them to share. They eat in relative silence before Mila exclaims that she wants to go play.

"How about some games before you go on the slides?" Ben states.

Mila frowns but Ben immediately shuts down her pouting. "I don't want you to get sick, babe. Let your food settle and you can do whatever you want."

Mila seems to agree, heading over to a game that catches her eye due to the bright colors.

"Thanks again for agreeing to this," Ben says while they stand off to the side letting Mila play on any game she chooses.

"It's not a big deal. I'm happy that she gets to have a good time as well."

"I promise when I find someone to babysit her that I'll take you out on a proper date where it's just the two of us."

Rey slips her hand into his, drawing his dark eyes to meet hers. "As I said before, Mila means the world to me. I'm glad that our first date involves her. I want her to be comfortable with the notion you and I are together. Whatever makes that transition easiest for her is all that matters."

"You really are something else, Rey," he says with a look of awe.

"I'm nothing special."

"If we weren't in public, I'd spank you for that comment," he grunts. His eyes returning to where Mila is.

Rey's entire body heats at the thought of Ben bending her over to do such a brazen act. She doesn't even know how to respond, remaining silent instead of making herself seem like a fool with no experience.

Once Mila is out of tokens she demands to play on the slides to which Ben puts up no argument. Rey and he sit next to each other, allowing Mila to have all the fun she desires.

"You're going to school soon, right?" Ben asks out of the blue.

"Yes, once the summer is over."

"What are you planning to major in?"

"I've been thinking Sociology. I want to become a social worker."

"It sounds like a tough job."

Rey ponders the comment for a moment, understanding that becoming a social worker would be difficult but if she can at least help one kid out of a rough situation, it would make it worthwhile. "Yes, but I've always wanted to help others and I think that would be the right position."

"I think you can do anything you put your mind to, Rey."

"Are you saying I shouldn't become a social worker?" She asks feeling slightly offended at what he might be suggesting.

He chuckles, shaking his head. "I'm saying you could do anything in this life and I will stand by your side no matter what. If helping children is what you want to do, then that is what you should do. I just want you to be happy and enjoy your job."

"Why wouldn't I enjoy my job?"

"Being a social worker is mentally demanding. Are you telling me that you are okay with helping one child out of a shitty situation only for them to be put into foster care where they might never get out until they are eighteen?"

"Of course I wouldn't be okay with that," she snaps not enjoying his line of questioning.

He sighs. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be pushy but I just wouldn't want to see the toll it would take on you. My dad was a detective on the force for thirty years. I saw what it did to him to see the cruelty of others."

"I'm a big girl, Ben. I don't need you to tell me what I should do with my life."

"You're right. It's not my choice to tell you what to do. I just want you to be happy."

"I will be happy to help in any way I can for these children."

"I'm sorry to have put my nose where it doesn't belong."

The conversation ends leaving Rey with a feeling that perhaps what Ben is saying isn't completely out of line. How could she bear the thought of seeing children taken out of bad homes only to be put in a place where they would feel alone? There had to be something even better she could do to help others. Like a light bulb going off in her head, she realized there was something she could do. It would take many years but in the end, she knew it would be worth it. Hopefully, Ben would remain by her side…

"I'll build my own place where children can stay. Hire the best staff and ensure that all the children taken out of abusive scenarios or neglectful households can be safe and loved."

She watched the small smile that formed on Ben's face. "I'll be with you every step of the way."

~♥~

"Goodnight princess." Ben presses a kiss to Mila's forehead; her soft breaths escaping parted lips as she sleeps soundly.

Exiting her room he shuts the door with a soft click and heads into his own room where Rey sits reading a book on business. It had been a couple of weeks since Rey decided she wanted to become a business major to be able to make her dream of running a hotel where children could stay until they were adopted. She would have to have a ton of legal documents to do so but he could tell that it was not going to be much a problem for her. She was focused and dedicated and that was why he loved her so damn much.

They had a couple of proper dates so far but nothing that went beyond kissing and heavy petting. He was waiting for the time that she came to him personally and asked for more. Until then, he was content with just being by her side.

Stripping himself down to his boxers, he got into bed pressing a tender kiss to her exposed shoulder. "How's the reading going?"

Rey sighs. "It's a lot to learn but I know it will all be worth it in the end."

"Damn right it will be worth it. I know you're going to do amazing, Rey. If you ever feel like giving up, just know I'm here to pick you back up and help you with anything you need. All you have to do is ask."

Rey bookmarks her page and sets the book on the side table. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Ben."

"You'd be absolutely fine without me."

Rolling onto her side, he is met with a large smile, and gorgeous hazels staring at him. "I'm glad I'm not without you though. Thank you for all that you do for me."

His heart beats madly inside his chest, reaching towards her with trembling fingers he strokes her jaw with a gentle touch. Her brows draw together in confusion, reaching up to steady his hand. "Is something wrong?" She asks.

"Not at all," he rasps. "I'm just trying to figure out how I got so lucky to have you in my life."

Rey presses her hand to his racing heart, pushing to the point he gets the hint to lay on his back. She throws one leg over him, cradling his waist with her knees as she sits atop him. Her hands land on his chest propping herself up, gazing at him like he is the one tethering her to this world. When her ass settles upon his cock, he bites back a moan at how good it feels to have her this close to him.

Her hand slides up his chest, to the column of his throat, fingertips trailing over the vein that beats a mad tempo. His body reacts almost instantaneously to her touch, desperate for more but he doesn't dare move. He allows her to explore his body, tracing her fingers over his jaw up to his cheekbone. Higher to his brows and down the bridge of his nose to where his lips are parted. She touches the plush skin, a shaky breath escaping him when she does so.

Her eyes gleam as she stares down at him, returning her hand to join the other on his chest. She rotates her hips experimentally, watching him adamantly to see his reaction. His brows draw together with passion, a choked sound escaping him as his hands grip her hips, unable to stop himself from doing so.

"Rey," he breathes.

The smile that graces her face is nothing like he has ever seen. She is his forever. There will be no other woman that can compare to her. She is the light he has yearned for so very long and has finally found.

He loves her.

Perhaps he always knew he would. Her fiery spirit and give no shits attitude has taught him so much in such a short amount of time. Without her, he would be lost.

She leans down, lips meeting his own. His strong arms pull her close and he knows without a shadow of a doubt she is the love of his life, now and forever.

~♥~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr 
> 
>  
> 
> [Here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/spikeisinspace)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> XOXOXOXO


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